Playing favorites

We went to the zoo today, Cheryl, FrogMonkey and I. While we did not see our usual peacock and farm tractor, we did see lots of lion, hippos and bears, oh my!
As we were headed home I asked FM what his favorite part of the whole day was.
“Playing with Cheryl.”

Monkey say: oops!

Oh, Shoot! (we suspect grandma or maybe Mama)
Holy Moley! (we have no idea where he got that one)
Oh, Cheeses (and we’re sticking to that explanation. everyone knows the evils of cheeses, after all!)

He’s two, right?

FM: Wassat, mama? Wassat boomin’?

Me: I don’t know, sweetie. I think it is one of the neighbors.

FM: Dennis?

Me: No. I don’t think it is Dennis. Maybe Tor.

FM: Shall we go see?

Me: No, not right now.

FM: Yes. Wight now.

Me: No, we’re making dinner now.

FM: Awright. Maybe later?

Hearing your two year old say “shall we” is a bit odd. Now I understand why everyone always thought I was so old for my age.

I want my kid to be a dentist

My tooth had a hole in it. My front tooth. And it hurt. And it was bleeding.
I had a choice: go see the dentist in one week – the soonest appointment I could get, or go see her in two weeks, when I already had an appointment. Did I mention the tooth hurt?
I made the appointment, with the dentist I don’t like because it was the earliest they could see me and it was already one week out. Who knew how big the hole in my tooth could get in one week?
I went in today. She tapped on my teeth a couple of times.

Good news: Nothing wrong. That’ll be 95$ please.
Self insured dentistry really sucks.
The hole in my tooth? A common defect in most Caucasians.

Sad Monkey

No go in car Mama.

We have to get in the car to go home, Bean. It’s too far to walk.

No. No get in car. It’s sad.

Hey, Bean? Are you sad to have to leave the park?

Yes.

Yaaaaayy! He’s capable of identifying and communicating emotions! I haven’t messed him up yet!

Yep. He’s a boy.

Me: sniff sniff

FM: Hi

Me: Hi. You smell funky.

FM: Oh well.

Got the prom date picked out already

Me: Hey, Bean let’s get you dressed to go see the doctor. You want to look cute for the doctor.
FrogMonkey: No.
Me: Will you look cute for mama?
FM: No.
Me: Will you look cute for Grandma?
FM: No.
Me: Hmm. Who will you look cute for? Ellie?
FM: Yes.

Photo of Ellie courtesy of her dad: Jeff Carlson

Monkey do: open wide

At the doctor’s office today, she asked FrogMonkey to open his mouth so she could count his teeth. He opened it just about big enough to admit a finger but not a flashlight.
She asked him to open wider. He didn’t budge.
Open really big.
Nothing.
Me: “Hey Bean, open your mouth like Papa is about to give you a bite of food.”
He opened his mouth as wide as it could possibly get.

Let’s make a deal

FrogMonkey: Hand off!
Me: I’ll keep my hand off if you keep the water hose in the flower pot.
FrogMonkey: It’s a deal.

Biology lesson

This is a scary alligator.